Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
