The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
