so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Randomize
