Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
