Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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