How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This couple is walking their pig around campus
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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