shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
