ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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