he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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