You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
