i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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