I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
