we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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