Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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