from now on my penis is your penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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