Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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