I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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