what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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