i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
