Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
