It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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