whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
