What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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