The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
