He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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