normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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