it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
