I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
