OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i dont even know how to be here
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize