I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
