RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
