You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
