last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
