Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
