i just google imaged poop.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
