i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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