One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
