doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
