You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Michael Bay diarrhea
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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