I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
