That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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