I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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