Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
