bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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