Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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