oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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