Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
