marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
