If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
