Will you blow on my dice?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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