party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
