I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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