he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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