the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
