If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
