Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
