Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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